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Win a big bang ticket - tell us a poker joke

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  • What did the giraffe say to the tiger at th e poker table?>........I thought u were a cheetah!!!

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    • I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol, and wild women. The other half I wasted.

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      • Why does the author of the Harry Potter books only play hyper-turbos?


        People don't like Slow Rowling

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        • Game of Thrones characters play the WSOP (Westerosi Series of Poker)

          -Jaime Lannister gets far less cocky once he loses a hand

          Ned Stark limps, gets wrecked by Queen high and loses his head for the rest of the game.

          Robyn Arryn shows King High and tries to milk the pot, but has to suck on his mum's pair of 8s...

          Margeary Tyrell goes in on any King

          Theon shows second-nuts and gets dealt a real bad beat by Ramsey Bolton in the cut-off.

          Jon gets resurrected when the red queen makes him hit his draw.

          Tywin Lannister dominates a big pot, but when Tyrion's gut shot comes good, he drops his stack without flushing.

          Dany's three Aces hold up well for most of the game, then get cold called and coolered by a full-house (of cards presumed dead)

          Arya was almost blinded out til she beat the Aceless men
          Last edited by cyanidebaby; Sat May 12, 2018, 03:36 PM.

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          • I once went to a casino and asked for two large stacks of chips... When two large plates of potato chips were handed to me I realised I went to the wrong kiosk...

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            • A busty blond sat down at a table in a Las Vegas casino. “I hope you don’t mind,” she said, “but I play better when I’m naked.” She then proceeded to undress.
              On the very first hand, after some heavy betting, she was head’s-up in a monster pot. After the dealer turned over the river card, she flipped her hand over,
              jumped out of her seat and started screaming, “I won! I won! I won!”
              The dealer, flustered, pushed her the pot.
              “What’d she have?” the loser asked the dealer.
              “I don’t know,” the dealer said. “I thought YOU were watching.”

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              • Poker in the front and liquor in the rear ;-)

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                • What is the biggest difference between a church and a poker room?
                  In a poker room, you really mean it when you pray!!

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                  • I like poker not win

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                    • A man walks into a bar and notices a poker game at the far table. Upon taking a closer look he sees a dog sitting at the table. This peaks his curiousity and he walks closer and sees cards and chips in front of the dog. Then the next hand is dealt and cards are dealt to the dog. Then the dog acts in turn with all the other players, calling, raising, discarding, everything the other human players were doing. However none of the other players seemed to pay any mind to the fact that they were playing with a dog, they just treated him like any other player. Finally the man could not longer hold his tongue so between hands he quietly said to one of the players, "I can't believe that dog is playing poker, he must be the smartest dog in the world!" The player smiled and said, "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."

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                      • I was playing poker with tarot cards the other night. I got a full house and four people died.

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                        • 1st player: why did u call me a wal mart ? 2nd player :Because u fold just like the cheap lawn chairs from there

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                          • ok, this is not very good, but atleast its an TranceLucienT™ Original, decided to make up a joke rather than copying something from the net... so, here goes

                            if GOD played poker, why would he always win?
                            he would punish u if u flop, he could turn the turn into anything and he could divide the river.

                            example, u flop top set with AA against gods pockets 2´s that dont hit... if by chance the turn for a brief moment was A, it would not be when it hits the felt, and ofc the river would be a 4, so, ud have aces full of douces against Gods "Dai(HO)LY QUADS"

                            haha... if that wasent funny, u should find the effort amusing atleast

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                            • AK = Anna Kournikova. Always looks great. Never wins.
                              Story of my poker life

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                              • 7-2 Seven Lose Never Lose

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