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Win a big bang ticket - tell us a poker joke

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  • #31
    Thanks for all your jokes, I really had a great time by reading them. All of them were great so we will give 5 Big Bang Tickets.

    The winners are:


    donna1906
    praxee
    ianleeL
    laert12348
    Kurupt94


    You will have your ticket soon.

    Stay tuned next Monday for more free Big Bang Tickets.


    Andrés

    Comment


    • #32
      Congrats to all, tickets will be credited Monday, October 9th.
      Online Poker League
      Can you win the leaderboard?

      Comment


      • #33
        Good idea poker friends!
        This joke is for you:

        Few friends are hanging out in the coolest club in town. Says one to the other:
        Is that dj playing anything?
        Then ask him if he wanna play poker!

        And (another) pretty bad one:

        What’s the difference between a big pizza and a professional poker-Player?
        A big pizza can feed a whole family!

        grtz. chariotear

        Comment


        • #34
          Good idea poker friends!

          This joke is for you:

          A few friends are hanging out in the coolest club in town. Says one to the other:
          Is that dj playing anything?
          Then ask him if he wanna play poker!

          And (another) pretty bad one:
          What’s the difference between a big pizza and a professional Poker-Player?
          A big pizza can feed a whole family!

          grtz. chariotear.

          Comment


          • #35
            'It is 10 past 9, when Jack helps Queen, and King comes in, all bottoms high: Asses, asses and asses asses.........'

            So: 9,10,J,Q,K,A: ROYAL FLUSH!

            Meaning doing naughty things in the toilet and then flush it away or something....
            Actually ,this Victorian children's-song/riddle is still heard in many villages in the UK, and that's no joke.

            (source: History of Royal Flush: once castle-jokes, now poker terms: the Medieval Poker Archives, MPA chapter 4)

            Comment


            • #36
              My own joke at the cash table in the casino.
              I play cashgame 2/4 NL, pot is abaout 500 euro.
              The board is: 2s, 6s, Kd, 10c and 3s, so no flush on the board and only possible backdoor straight.
              The guy in front of me checked river after he raises preflop, bet on the flop and bet on the turn.
              On the river i went all in with my last 40 euro (pot is 500 euro).
              He is thinking and talking a lot to me and he ask me wat i had, so i say call and you will see my hand, this is the best hand !!.
              He said "do you have s straight", i looked at the board and saw that this was possible but i did not see or have that.
              Then he says "you have flush" i said "that is possible", this because i had As and 4s (so the nuts).
              He thinks 5 minutes and folded and showed Ks and Kh (so set on the flop).
              He said show me the flush and that is what i did, i showed my hand and then is saw that i saw As and 4c !!!
              I was thinking al the time i had nut flushdraw on the flop and called every bet .
              For 40 euro he folded on a pot for 500 .
              All the other players say that he never should have fold that and offcourse they a right .
              After this we had much fun on the table .

              Comment


              • #37
                I drank too much beer during last night's pokergame.
                I had to use a royal flush this morning

                Comment


                • #38
                  What's the difference between a large pizza and a poker player?

                  Large pizza can feed a family of four, a poker player can't.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    How do u keep lady gaga quiet ?
                    poker face

                    Comment


                    • #40


                      Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up. Roberts looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell the wife?" They draw straws. Rippington, who is always a loser, picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse than it is. "Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me." Rippington walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers, asks what he wants. Rippington says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards." She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!" Rippington says, "I'll tell him."

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        A long Poker night ,angry wife opens the kitchen door and telled her husband to stop playing poker in the house , the husband stand up from the chair and then said , ok honey just leave the keys to the new owner of the house

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          whats the second best thing after a pair of aces? A pair of bitchizz followed by an all in. Original gangsta

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                          • #43
                            knock knock whos there dozer dozer who dozer poker gods( phil Hellmuth )

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              A man comes home from his weekly Poker Game late.
                              His cranky wife is waiting for him.

                              “Where the heck have you been?”
                              “Sorry, but I lost you in a poker game. You’ll have to leave.”
                              “How did you manage that, you fool?”
                              “It wasn’t easy. I had to fold a royal flush.”
                              "A weak player may be a nit but a nit is not necessarily a weak player"

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                The more we study, the more we know
                                The more we know, the more we forget
                                The more we forget, the less we know
                                the less we know, the less we forget
                                The less we forget, the more we know
                                Why study?

                                Comment

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