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Win a big bang ticket - tell us a poker joke

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  • #16
    poker is like sex if you don't have a good partner u better have a good hand

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    • #17
      AK = Anna Kournikova. Always looks great. Never wins.

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      • #18
        Just blood....i love night game,pokergame

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        • #19
          If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you. o.O

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          • #20
            There's a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head. The voice says, "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas." He ignores the voice. Later in the day, he hears the voice again. "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas." Again, he ignores the voice. Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day. "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas." He can't take it anymore. He believes the voice. He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas. As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says, "Go to the Horseshoe." He goes to The Horseshoe. The voice says, "Put all your money into a World Series of Poker (WSOP) entry." He puts up his $10,000 and buys an entry into the WSOP. He goes to his assigned tournament table. The first hand is dealt and the guy is dealt AsAd. The voice says, "Go all in." He pushes his entire $10,000 bankroll into the pot. Three players call. The dealer lays down the flop which is Jh10h9h. The voice says, "Shit."

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            • #21
              why isn't poker allowed in Africa
              because of all of the cheetahs

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              • #22
                What is the difference between a church and a poker room ?
                In a poker room you really mean it when you pray !

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                • #23
                  Why did the Vegas poker pro have a better night than the online poker pro?

                  He had 2 ladies unsuited...the other guy jacks.

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                  • #24
                    So, a poker player walks into a bar with 5 dollars and walked out drunk? how do you think he could afford the drinks? the bartender paid for all of it

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                    • #25
                      I went to the butchers the other day and bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.

                      He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

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                      • #26
                        How do you wake up Lady GaGa poker her face.

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                        • #27
                          Divorce is the only fold after which you still loose money.

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                          • #28
                            A busty blonde sat down at a table in a Las Vegas casino. “I hope you don’t mind,” she said, “but I play better when I’m naked.” She then proceeded to undress. On the very first hand, after some heavy betting, she was heads-up in a monster pot. After the dealer turned over the river card, she flipped her hand over, jumped out of her seat and started screaming, “I won! I won! I won!”.

                            The dealer, flustered, pushed her the pot.
                            “What’d she have?” the loser asked the dealer.
                            “I don’t know,” the dealer said. “I thought YOU were watching".

                            Last edited by joy7108; Fri Oct 06, 2017, 06:25 PM. Reason: typo
                            Bracelet Winner


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                            • #29
                              I walked into a bar and I asked what do you guys have here??
                              She said we have Liquor in the front and Poker in the Rear
                              Me: Giggity

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                              • #30
                                does 5 queens beat a royal flush?

                                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0heKKPXM9vQ

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