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Tunica Confessions - at last

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  • Tunica Confessions - at last

    OK. I have been a little busy. And maybe I hoped that time would temper my memory of the crazy wacky time spent in Tunica during the MAPC. Or truth be known, maybe I hoped y'all would forget my foolhardy promise to divulge my naughtiness. But wildbill has been riding herd for me to spill my guts, and I need to get him off my back, and any other body parts he has any illusions of riding.

    A truly great time was had by all – but anyone who has been to Tunica with PSOers already knew that. I won't remember everyone who was there, but suffice it to say, there was a great showing of PSOers that were full of PSO spirit…and beer.

    I missed the first two PSO tourneys and after I saw the great structure that zip worked out with the 'shoe, boy was I sorry. I was somewhat pathetic in the third PSO tourney – and managed to lose my Victoria Secret panties on a bad beat. My autographed panties were confiscated by 'shoe employee Denny Jones, and I hear they are still making the rounds. However, the rumor that they were shown for $1/person in the employee men's room was a hoax…I think.

    I had a blast sweating Kaelaine's money finish in the $200 NLHE. Once the bubble approached, she was wound up tighter than a watch (yes, we old timers used to wind watches). Zeroth had to be called in for an intervention, and she sailed through dangerous bubble waters without actually having a stroke. And after her great money finish, she kept on ticking. Wildbill and I ran into her in the Goldstrike poker room hours later, and she was still speaking in tongues and bouncing off the walls – and after a few martinis. You go girl.

    I also had fun celebrating Wfns's first money finish of the week. Unfortunately drinking three vodka and tonics and then playing a midnight O8 sat was probably unwise on my part – who would have guessed. And if I celebrated all of highway1's wins in the first two days, I think I would have died of alcohol poisoning – he was just steppin' in it.

    I thought I had a great morning routine in Tunica. But after some strange encounters, I may have to make some changes when January rolls around. Every morning I would pick up a latte at Starbucks – probably the only thing I spent money on in Tunica thanks to the advice of Wildbill and Zeroth who know how to get comp'ed for every vice. Then I would head over to the bar for free orange juice and jot down some notes about the previous day. But you can meet some strange people in a Mississippi casino bar at 9:00am.

    My first encounter was a nice doctor from NJ, who comes to Tunica because the craps odds at his bet size are better than in Atlantic City. He seemed like a very nice, quiet, but attentive sort of guy…but even so, I played the spouse card. He suggested dinner one night. I thought he might make interesting company, but I did the "maybe if I have time" thing. My biggest failing was giving him my business card…d'oh. Yes. Two nights later I get a call at 2:30 am suggesting a joint sleep-in. The only thing I remember emanating from my drink and sleep laden being was, "Never gonna happen." Didn't hear from him after that…what a surprise.

    My next encounter will clearly go down in the encounter hall of fame. I'm doing my morning thing at the bar when an attractive young blond woman bellies up beside me. I notice her tongue stud. She complements me on my hat – the Stetson is always a head turner. She asks if I like her boots. I answer yes to her dazzling pair of lizard skin boots. The next words out of her mouth (and the bartender will back me up here), in her slow, smooth Mississippi drawl, were, "D’ya wanna do me?" I would have liked to report that my response was pithy and poised. But much to my dismay, I spewed coffee out of my nose like a fountain, hitting the bartender square in the chest with my spray. Trying to regain a bit of self-control, I explained that at 9:00 am, I have a hard time "doing" breakfast. Apparently, there were no hard feelings and we proceeded to have a nice conversation about women's undergarments, although my new friend confessed to wearing none. Even the bartender recovered from getting hit with nose filtered coffee and joined in the fun. I saw my friend several times during the week and quickly made the determination that she was not committed to any team, but definitely seemed to enjoy life as a free agent.

    I crashed the FullTilt party hosted by Clonie Gowen. I was stalking both Gowen and Moneymaker for interviews all week, just managing to dodge a restraining order. Part of my quest was to dig up dirt for a new gossip column in Bluff Magazine. I got some great dirt at the party – but unfortunately was then forced to swear I wouldn't print it. Dang. But for all you Clonie fans, she and I did spend some quality time locked in the suite’s bathroom. I can say no more.

    I encourage you all to read wildbill's trip report for coverage of the "pantsless pai gow" incident. While I, Zeroth, wildbill and everyone else at the table had a ridiculously great time playing pai gow that night, no one will deny that the incident marked a new high in low-limit pai gow history – or low, depending on your measurement system.

    I also must confess that wildbill and I tore up the blackjack tables…especially after a dealer accused wildbill of stealing his tip, lol (again must refer to wildbill's report – I get a commission on referrals). The longer we played, the more we drank, and the more we won. Kinda hard to beat that.

    Zeroth was also a coveted table game companion. But let me also say that he's da man when you need to get out of a jam. When you call Zeroth to your side, people scatter. It's a gift.

    Well, I think that’s all I will divulge for now. Can’t wait for the next one…



  • #2
    wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. I am booking my room for Tunica the moment my fingers leave this keyboard. wow.
    Iambrant from wherever


    • #3
      Great trip report Oil.


      • #4
        bluff magazine

        Spill it: who knows what? is it worth my $?


        • #5
          just booked my room! Blonde hair lizard booters beware!
          Iambrant C.H.A.P.S.


          • #6
            Amy, I think I can get you a comp for some thigh high ostrich go-go boots. And a tounge piercing........ We'll just need some wise words from a chinese exchange student to the cardroom manager.

            Bill (named after a ducks mouth)

            Good 16 candles reference btw.


            • #7
              Good 16 candles reference btw.
              I knew you would get that one. Btw, I expect my commission check by the end of the month.

              Spill it: who knows what? is it worth my $?
              Well here is the problem. You could backfill a quarry with the dirt I have on the poker world. The problem is if I print it, I will never have access to dirt again. And I love dirt. So instead, I have to settle for fluffier bits, which is not what inquiring minds want. But blackmail...I hadn't really considered that...


              • #8
                Hmmm it wouldnt be the first of the three biggest lies I've ever told you so.....

                The check is in the mail :lol: :lol:



                • #9
                  Will you two get a room already? Sheesh. :lol:

                  P.S. Great report Amy (yea, yours was good too Bill, but you already know that, and don't call me an asshat)


                  • #10
                    Great trip report always



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