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Tunica was sort of fun

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  • Tunica was sort of fun

    A lot of people stayed home, apparently prefering the fun of the televised Political Convention to hanging out and partying with Pokerschoolers. As much as I like politicians 8O I made the sacrifice of going to Tunica. And I have a some titalating stories to tell (and if that aint foreshadowing, then there is no such thing)

    I suggest you go find a cushion, a cold drink and maybe a few cookies, this is gonna be one long, disjointed, rambling saga which will include some stories about homelessness, virtually no poker content, several references to old movies or music, a little bit of nudity (feeling titalated yet?) and of course, a few references to asshats.

    Two paragraphs in, I guess I should go ahead and start. On Friday, the movers came and loaded all my stuff onto a truck. For a guy who takes pride in owning so little stuff, I sure had to pack a lot of stuff. But I am ready when they arrive and everything goes quickly. But I am homeless. No place in Chicago, no lease in WA. Controlled Chaos is my life.

    I guess I am no longer a CHAP. The ceremony was heartbreaking, as I was called into the Muzzey's garage, for what I thought would be a nice surprise going away party. Instead they were formed in two rows, facing each other and looking very solemn. First Jay announced that Bass Ale would no longer be allowed in his house. Jen Muzzey stepped to the front, ripped an Ace of Spades into pieces and dropped it at my feet. Zipman followed with the Ace of Hearts, Debonair with the Ace of Diamonds, and 2Hott with the Ace of Clubs. Vorrin read from an notarized document detailing the wishes of the group that I never ever see another preflop ace or high pair against them. Sailor Moe removed my sunglasses and broke them. HardTimes then removed my ball cap and ground it into the ground under his heel. A uniformed police officer issued me a restraining order to keep at least 2 seats to the right of any current member in any future tourney and to the sound of a single drum, I was marched between the rows of the CHAPS, with each pair turning their backs to me as I came abreast of them. As I passed the last pair, the garage door was closed behind me, and I was left alone in the driveway to hear the fun going on inside.

    Devastated, I put Chicago into my rear view mirror and headed off to Tunica.

    I arrived in Tunica just in time for the first Zipman Invitational tourney. I will leave the poker reporting to people who were sober. Zeroth won. He rocks.

    Several more PSO'ers had shown up and lots of drinks were drunk, some Sats were played and fun was had.

    About 9PM Debonair (the other Bill) and I had the brilliant idea to play the 4AM tourney at the Strike. We talked several other pokerschoolers into signing up (some of whom actually showed up) and about 11 I went to bed for a big 4 hours of sleep. This being about 4 more hours than I usually get the first night in Tunica I was raring to go for the tourney. Summary? I put a bad beat on Bill for all his chips, then I took a bad beat for all our chips. I guess I should blame the random number generator. Next time you see NewJane, ask her to loan you a rebuy. Just tell her your wife is coming from the ATM soon. She chased that guy for a day and a half and finally got repaid. Heh.

    OK on Tuesday we had another PSO tourney, won by Debonair with Zeroth dropping to second. His % looking pretty high. And due to a difference in the deal they made in the end, Zeroth got more money for finishing 2nd than he had for winning the day before. He makes a great comment about finishing 3rd tomorrow and making even more money. Highway1, Amy the Oil Doe and I spend 15 minutes wandering the gold strike, looking for the SPECIFIC bar that they wanted to drink in. The first one we found was too crowded, the second was too empty and I resolved to not go drinking with picky people anymore. Once we found the 'correct' bar, we settled in for a long session of gossip, drinks, and solving the worlds problems. I went to bed about 11:30, resolving to get up for the 4 AM tourney again, but when the alarm sounds decide to sleep instead. With 12 hours over 2 days I have slept more than my last two Tunica trips combined.

    Nothing fun at all happened Wed. As if. The PSO Tourney was won by Wildfire21 with Todd21 2nd. Zeroth was in fact the first eliminated ruining his % ranking. Afterwards, Amy asked for a lesson in Baccarat. Since Casino Baccarat involves such a high degree of skill and such a huge negative expectation, I suggest we play Let It Ride for high stakes instead. Nope, she has some deal in the works for Gambling instruction and one of her topics in Baccarat. So we play Baccarat for a couple of hours. During which I ask for and receive a buffet comp from the pit. Of course by dinnertime I had lost Amy and had dinner with Sailor Moe instead of Oil Doe. I am a poet and dont even know it.

    First asshat reference. While randomly wandering the casinos, Amy and I check on the action in the Gold Strike Cardroom. Finding no Pokerschoolers there, we ride the escalator back down to the main casino. As we get on the down escalator, the up escalator comes to a stop. After we ride about halfway down, I point out to Amy that there are 15-20 people just standing there on the stopped escalator, Apparently too freaking lazy or too silly to climb the rest of the way. I get a mental picture of these poor people having to resort to cannabilism before they are saved and we hurry away to alert rescue teams. An hour later the escalator seemed to be working normally and apparently no one was actually eaten.

    Indy Bob's party was actually well attended. The biggest problem with trying to schedule an event for Poker Players is actually getting them to show up. Usually there are sattelites, soft games, or excessive alcohol keeping them from showing up. Since Indy was supplying all 3 of the above, about 20 people did in fact, show up. Zeroth and I wimped out on the games (yes there was one in each room) and merely wandered about providing smartassed comments. Thems that can, do. Thems that cant are smartasses. It seemed like a good time was had by all.


    On to Thursday and the PSO Invitational. 500 people sat down and they announced that 100+ were on the alternate list and would be seated as players were eliminated. There are a couple of tables with 3 PSO'ers so I guess I was relived to find only one other at my table (JimmyDean). After about 15 mins we busted someone off of our table and who is the alternate called in to replace him? Chris! Freakin! Moneymaker! I will never get to golf with Tiger Woods, play one-on one with MJ, or play catch with A-Rod, but by golly today I get to play poker with a World Champion. You would almost think that this would be the ULTIMATE highlight of my trip. You would be wrong. The Ultimate highlight of my trip came when Clonie Gowan saw Chris at our table and came over to give him a hug. From my position in the 9 seat her hug to Chris gave me a view down her shirt all the way to her belly button. Can I get a WooHoo from the congregation?

    Some play details. He doubled up his second hand when he flopped a set of Jacks against the table leader who proceeded to miss his flush draw. He busted another guy a couple of hands later with top 2 pair against top pair top kicker. A few hands later he sucked out against another guy by rivering two pair. A world champion with a huge stack to my left? Why would that be a problem?

    Seriously though, Chris was an AMAZINGLY personable guy. He bantered with the table, telling us stories about how nutty ring games get when he sits down in them when he is recognized. I, being 2 seats to his right, repeatedly told him that I was SERIOUSLY looking forward to telling all my friends how I robbed his blinds. (Not that I got a chance in the 2.5 hours we played) One hand when I was in the Big Blind he raised, and after everyone had folded to me I looked at my J2 and folded. He told me he would tell all his friends that he had robbed my blind. :lol:
    There were only two hands I actually played against him. Blinds were 25/50, I was in the BB and he limped in. 3 other limpers and I see T8 of hearts and check. Flop comes 10 high high rainbow (no hearts). I check, he bets 300 and everyone folds to me. Top pair no kicker, had it been some Joe Schmuckitelli I might have called or even raised, but not wanting to be one of the people who seemed to just hand Chris their chips I gave him credit for a big hand and folded. He SHOWED his AA and I felt like a million bucks. Do I have a read on a world champ?

    The other hand we played was later in the same level, he was the button, it had folded around to me and I made it 300 with 88. He called and we saw the flop heads up. Flop was A83 and I began to pray he had an Ace. I went all in for 500, hoping that he had ANYTHING to call with from his stack of 5K plus and he folded. Maybe I should have checked? I wish I could get away with that. Oh well, I didnt show him my set. But I sure wish he had doubled me up.

    Anyhow I eventually busted by taking QQ against AK sooted. I lost the flip and can at least say it wasnt Moneymaker that busted me. Although I guess it would be better for my ego if I could say it took Moneymaker to bust me.

    I am ashamed to admit that I didnt get the best line at the table though, that distinction goes to JimmyDean. After I busted Chris shook my hand (as he had done with all who busted out or joined the table for that matter) I told him I had enjoyed playing with him more than anyone could know and then I said " You are amazing, I am positive that a year after I win the WSOP I will be the biggest As shole on the face of the earth." Jimmy immediatly piped up with "what do you mean AFTER?" and the entire table roared. Friends are such a wonderful thing.

    So much for poker, lets tell some more funny stories. Oil Doe and I hung around the tourney area for a while and listened to beat stories. Then we went off to play blackjack.

    And found another asshat. The dealer. He did have physical problems which more than excused his slowness. The slowness truly did not bother me. However at one point he STOPPED in the middle of dealing, looked at me and said, "you owe me 5 bucks" Did I bet wrong somehow? Maybe there is a punchline coming? I gave him the best response I could think of, which was "Huh?" He then goes into a long story about how, 4 hands ago, when I had bet a 2.50 chip for him (Yes I tip dealers) He had paid the bet with a 5 dollar chip which I had then "taken back" Amy and I both explained that I had done no such thing, and that we had both seen him drop the chip into the toke box. We discussed this for what seemed to be forever, but was probably only a minute or two, and he finally continued dealing. After we had played another couple of hands I suggested to Amy that we switch tables and she agreed.
    We won quite a bit of money at the new table and my potential tilt from being accused of stealing a tip from the dealer was averted. I even tipped the guy a few times.

    I will wrap this up with two last stories. Thurs night, zeroth, Oil Doe and I decide to wind down with a little Pai Gow. Would it be too redundant to note that we were having a good time, laughing and joking around? Our dealer, Patricia, had NO idea what she had gotten into. At one point, Amy having run out of cigarettes, said she was going to run to the gift shop for more, I suggested that she ask for a comp. She said "They comp cigarettes?" Zeroth said "They comp every vice you can think of" And, before even I could make a bad joke from that, Amy said, "do you think they could get enough oatmeal to fill my bathtub?" That woke the table right up.
    Then we ruined the PIT BOSS. I noticed that while Amy and Tim were both beating the game I was stuck, so I turned my ball cap inside out and donned it, announcing that it was time for the rally cap. And if the rally cap failed I was going to have to take off my pants, and put them on inside out. The dealer then made some trivial mistake that made her call the pit Boss. She started her explanation of the mistake by saying, "I was laughing at this guy (pointing at me) taking off his pants and.... The poor pit boss (a 60ish woman) just failed to understand. Her expression was PRICELESS. It was clear that there was no combination of words in the english language that she had less expected to hear and the entire table including the dealer fell out laughing. The poor lady went on break and we never saw her again. Patricia, on the other hand, told us when we left that she rarely dealt to such fun people and that we had made her night. Heh.

    Now that you have fought all the way through this, Congrats to Kaeline who made the money in the PSO Invitational. I honestly believe that it is ALMOST as much fun rooting on a Pokerschooler from the rail as it is to be the one playing and I enjoyed watching her in the late stages of the tourney. GREAT JOB! CONGRATS! Next time, I hope the 88 will hold up and you will make the final table!

    Bill

  • #2
    Great report as usual Bill. Boy did I miss you guys...

    And good luck in the great northwest!

    Mike

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    • #3
      WILDBILL...
      I will wait til I get home to Fargo on the 4th for my official report. Maybe by then I will be able to tell the difference between fact and fiction. But I did want to put out a warning: If a baby-faced fat boy who calls himself "CHUCK" ever asks for a loan for a $15 rebuy during a 4 A.M. NLHE tourney, RUN, RUN, RUN. And yes, Debonair, I did find the asshat later, and on the third attempt, I did get my money. And I hope against hope that I didn't take his last $20. Cause when he handed it to me, only owing me $15, I did tell him that as soon as I found my husband, I would give him his $5 change!!!

      CONGRATS to Kailaine for her excellent play and super finish in the PSO LIVE TOUR event!! It rocked to see a PSO'er playing so well and finishing in the money.

      More later when I am home..

      Comment


      • #4
        AGain....I am green with Envy!

        Comment


        • #5
          Bill, that was tooooo funny, can't miss next year....

          Randy

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