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Doe Tilts with the Boys

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  • Doe Tilts with the Boys

    All of us harbor a poker top 10 wish list. Whether its wearing a bracelet home from the big one, bouncing Helmuth out on a bad beat, or just swapping hats with Chris Ferguson for the day – we all have our poker fantasies. Well today one of mine came true.

    Watching the final table of the $2000 Omaha 8, I notice a small, fidgeting figure talking incessantly across from me on the viewing bleachers. Could this be Perry “The Baiter” Friedman – 2002 WSOP $1500 Omaha 8 bracelet winner – former PSOer – and most importantly TILTBOY??

    Those of you that revel in degenerate and irreverent poker humor most likely already know about the tiltboys. If you somehow missed the boat on the whole tiltboy phenomenon – check out their website at http://www.tiltboys.com. (I am partial to story about the tiltboys playing a California ladies tourney in drag.)

    Well it is indeed Perry – accompanied by tiltboy compadre Lennie (with an i-e) Augustine. It’s a tiltboy double header and I am in my glory.

    There is really no need to interview Perry, or any tiltboy for that matter, as the spewage is constant. If I took notes in shorthand on speed it would be hard to keep up with the banter. We talked about many things – and of course there was the plethora of obligatory over/under bets – but here is a brief summary of my encounter.

    The Nick Name:

    Perry adopted the nickname “The Baiter” as a spoof on Men’s nickname, “The Master.” Get it? “Master” - “Baiter.”

    If They Gave a Bracelet For Sweating…

    Perry takes sweating very seriously. He may in fact be the top money sweater of all time – sweating people to well over $2 million in money finishes. Chris Ferguson can attest to this, since he has not won a bracelet without the benefit of Perry sweat. In fact, Perry was busy sweating Chris to his fourth bracelet as we spoke.

    It’s a huge responsibility, but the sweater plays an important and often unrecognized role in the world of big money poker. Lennie points out that “The player at the table as too much going on – playing cards and such. It is up to the sweater to subliminally communicate to the player that a powerful winning force surrounds them.” And it is often gut wrenching work. Perry recalls one tournament where he had to sweat Chris on three separate occasions where he was all-in with a smaller ace against T.J Cloutier. Sweating is obviously not for the feint of heart.

    Brilliant Commentary:

    Perry also provides brilliant poker commentary – possibly a future career path for him. Ferguson was in a hand where the board was 5342Q. Perry’s unbelievable insight – “Chris either has the wheel or he doesn’t.” It doesn’t get much better than that!!

    On Helmuth:

    While many claim to have bluffed Helmuth off a better hand – Perry is the only player I know who accidentally accomplished this feat. While intending to only call Helmuth, and in fact verbalizing a call, Perry accidentally spilled too many chips in the pot. Helmuth folded. Lesson: Phil may be able to read players – but apparently cannot read lips.

    Perry overheard Phil in the restroom saying, “So there I was, next in line at the urinal…” Perry’s quick retort, “Phil are you telling urinal bad beat stories now?”

    On Porn and Poker:

    Perry acknowledges that porn and poker are a logical and winning combination. Although he acknowledges that it is often a challenge to keep up with chat while playing online – being that chat sometimes requires two hands on the keyboard. Borrowing from the boxing paradigm, he suggests that live tourneys start using scantily clad women to march around with placards announcing limit increases, i.e. Limit Girls.

    On Poker and PSO:

    While no longer a PSO member, Perry has fond memories of PSO. Perry specifically credits PSO for developing his HE game – a game that has been his big money winner this year. When I asked if he had trouble switching gears between Omaha and HE his response was, “No. It’s all the same game. The game is tournament.”


    The high point of my encounter was when a few of my one-liners actually got a verbal drum fill from the boys. My low point – and sad to say - I never did get in a game of Roshambo (Rock-Paper-Scissors) with the boys before I had to leave. Hopefully there will be another time.

    Never had so much fun tilting,
    doe

  • #2
    I'm still laughing doe. Wonderful.

    :lol: :lol:


    A Phil "urinal bad beat story". That's great.



    Shane aka Jeff

    Comment


    • #3
      This just in...the tiltboys approve 8)

      Thanks for the post, Amy. Excellent, excellent writing. Rafe and I were just cracking up the whole time reading it. Hope the rest of your WSOP experience is just as rewarding.

      Phil "Scam King" Gordon
      Tiltboy and Ultimate Sports Adventurer -- www.ultimatesportsadventure.com

      Comment

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