... or how I finally started to enjoy poker.
Who is Shoim ? A bitter vet of an MMO involving spaceships, I used the same nick there ... for 7 years, even same avatar I use now.
Subscription costed 15$ / month.
Shoim, in real life, is a database programmer, and my name is Bogdan.
I started playing way back in 2010 and ever since I was, yeah baby !!! losing.
Last year I felt I could pay my subscription to my favourite MMO by playing poker. I mean realy .. investing 15$ out of my pocket for a game that gave nothing back except joy and drunken nights ?
Well, let's add 15$ more and invest into poker, because I am cool like that.
Done. Yaaaay !!! more loses ...
Crap, this is not gonna cut it.
Invest more ... same.
Hmm, now I spent 7 years to understand that space pew pew game, well, let's invest 1 month into poker, that should be enough.
And so I did. Found Andre's 100K challenge.
From there on I, short story short, I was losing again ! But not like I was losing before.
I FT'ed a couple of 1$ tourneys 90, 45, even won some of them.
And then I realised that this line : Learn and practice ! is the truth. So I set plans.
1. give up on my MMO.
2. invest in something challenging - poker.
3. stop, or at least minimize my bankroll investment (which grew from 15 to as big as 50), so that I can play with my bankroll.
4. Achieve Silver star (yeah, like that's gonna happen)
And stick'ed to this plan from Oct (i think) 2013 (I quit my mmo to have more money to invest - I was realistic after all) until April 2014.
I played - everything - and I do mean everything and every way (alcohol involved often - well, why not it's my evening and my 2 hours before sleep are worth 3-4 beers every now and then).
What happened was that I understood -EV in poker = drink less (a true epiphany, I was like dazzled).
But April 2014 cought me with a positive BR (small any ways) but it was like - wow.
OK. hmm let's study some more, drink less, if applicable during evenings, not always though.
... bla bla bla ...  more occasional drinks, but less, more learning, more stressing my friends and family about how cool I am in poker ... more bla bla
Hmm, August 2014, I come back from holiday (Istanbul is a city to visit !!! ) with a BR of 100$ (see, it pays to be good )
First Saturday of August, I play my 2nl extreme poker - losing 10$ and ... yeah, gonna walk the dog 8:00 PM Romanian time but leaving the client open.
Comming back, screen is black (i do save energy, not beers) BUT i hear chips clicking.... ?!?!?!
Wait, what ? I haven't nor do I know I am registered in any tourney. I click and see .. The Big Bang !
WTF is the The Big Bang ?!?!
Quickly check the structure .... daaamn. A 11$ buy in, regular structure. Oh well, nice. But from where ? Who gives a ... anything, I am in.
I won.
1200 something won. BAZOOOKA, Phil Yvey, my man, bring Negreanu and Esfandiari if you want to have a shot at me, I play you all, 500BB deep and own you ... in a multi way pot.
Again, short story short, I lost 680$ (+/- 50$).
I did cover my expenses for my holiday in Turkey for me and my wife.
I did manage to profit from my initial plan.
I failed terribly playing with an ego.
I failed terribly playing under influence, and it costed me dearly.
I failed at playing when I was tired and/or under influence
I failed at poker.
BUT I succeeded in one aspect, I am better player than I was November 2013.
I know where I am wrong.
I know I need to improve.
And BY GOD I will do my best to improve MY GAME.
I will be more confident in my game
I will be critical with my game
I will not set another challenge for myself other than this  : Learn and practice !
I don't have the time to play MTT so I focus on 6 max (2nl - I am not feeling bad about it, or worse "ashamed" - no, I play it with pride)
Most of all I will admit what I am : a fish, a Nemo, but a curious one !
If you reached this far, and yes, all was a thought for you, the beginning players that might strike gold I have this advice : ... Learn the game, and don't be that eager to move on, you are still a 'fish'.
The second advice is to ever repeat this to yourself : My game is good. I know it, but it needs improvement.
Don't question your game. Be confident but always look to improve, be curios.
No pro will ever contradict this philosophy.
Third advice : and this, after 7 years in that MMO, was flamed on every occasion : be yourself, not what 'the standard' requires. I PvP'ed and bested one of the most famous players there using settings everybody else would spit on and set fire upon. But don't get trapped, you need to understand 'standard' in order to beat it.
That is why I play Poker.