It's not something I've done a ton of talking about in this blog in general because I would like to be the type of person who doesn't focus much on the negative and who perpetuates positive beliefs and positive thoughts.

I'm in the middle of the biggest downswing of my life right now though. I can't be exact because I really don't even know what my actual net worth is. Money is spread out too far among too many different places and people for me to figure that out. I would guess this downswing has fallen roughly near the 60k mark though over the last 5 weeks.

My life has been a lot better since the start of 2013. Finding that perfect balance is almost an impossibility, but I had clearly tipped too far in the direction of only playing poker and grinding to earn as much money as possible. Over the course of this year I've done everything pretty much the opposite. I have been going out or having friends by 5-6 nights a week. Usually up til 5AM, sometimes even 10AM. It's been a good change of pace, and fun.

I'm not necessarily looking to completely re-direct all of my goals back towards poker. That wouldn't be the right thing for me to do right now. What I'm gonna do is just keep living my life making the best decisions I can for each moment I have. I think this is the only sane way to live.

I assume most of you guys reading this blog regularly are pros so you should be able to relate with what I'm going through. Obviously I can't claim to be on the level of these world beating players who win and lose half a mil a day, but I really can't remember too many people lately blogging about being on a 60k downswing over the course of 5 weeks.

I do remember one person  wrote a pretty insightful blog post a while back about his biggest downer and how he began to question whether he was even ever a winning player. If someone at that level of the game can feel that way, you gotta realize that it happens to all of us. The amount of money isn't really what we are getting at here though, it's all a matter of degree. How big of a portion of your bankroll was the loss? How far down in stakes do you have to drop in order to get back to the position you were previously at? How long do you need to stay there until you will feel comfortable stepping back up?

Personally, I talk to quite a few of the guys I play with on a regular basis. I would say we have a mutual respect for one another. That type of thing definitely helps a ton. Nothing is easier than to think you are a terrible player and that you can't possibly win no matter what you do when EVERYTHING is going wrong. Having some other people around who have been in thoat same spot and can relate to what you are going through while having the intellect to be able to connect with you that you actually are a smart winning player is something that just helps a ton.

Regardless, this is the type of thing that will make or break you as a pro. How well do you handle your downswings? Can you stick with it and keep a level head despite losing day after day buy in after buy in? Those who can continue to make the right decisions and realize the results are merely an afterthought are the ones who survive in this world. I know because I've been doing it for almost 7 years now.

This is as much a reminder to myself as it is to any of you guys out there who I'm sure struggle with the same thing. How strong is your will? Can you continue to believe in yourself when nothing goes your way, when you just got sucked out on for the 6th time straight this session, when the same thing has happened the last 15 sessions you've played? When you just mistakenly bluffed off a stack in a stupid way because you were frustrated about a number of bad beats? When you can do that and not lose your mind, you'll know you've made it.

Thanks for reading!