Hello people.



After earning a sizeable amount in the Big Bang, Micro-Mania overwhelmed your old pal PsychoVas. I free-rolled my way to events 1, 2 and 23 via FPP satellites and was rather happy for it. As a free - roller my FPPs were not much, I used 5 more on a FLHE tournament, so no more FPPs.

Ok, I thought, I made me some unexpected cash via Big Bang, I will invest in small cash satellites and play as many MicroMillion tourneys as I can. It was a mania indeed (for those of you unfamiliar with the term, it is greek and pictures the god induced frenzy of the believers. Dionysos the god of wine, theatre and re-birth blessed his followers, mainly women with it.)

I made a schedule of all the tourneys that are in my active time - frame, then checked the ones I had already registered in, then found the satellites to the rest, a very thorough work, date, time and status included.

Then I started playing those satties. Most of them were re-buy ones except one. That was my time in hell. The re-buys (at least the micro ones, 10, 20 cents to a dollar) are THE worst experience I ever had in poker. Mind you that I am a free roller, so I am used to donk fests and bingo nights. Well these are worse. Every hand was a donkament, 3,4 or 5 way all-ins, no matter what anybody had. The "russian nuts" (62o), any King or Queen high hand, whatever. The prudent player of course didn't call all-ins with marginal hands and blinded down whereas the donks tripled their stacks. Then the nuts came, AK suited or Kings or even Aces. This time the prudent player called and got crushed by a small hand that hit a pair, a set or a straight, what ever the low hand needed. Ok, double re-buy, cereful play, add-on, the prudent player got to be 9th outta 37 (18 seats rewarded). All that time, donks got zeroed and back in. Now, no more re-buys, donkey Kings and donkey Kongs have to pay  and leave. The prudent player raised his A10 suited, a shallow stack shoves, another considerable stack called. 10 high flop, no straight draw, the prudent player raises and the other player shoves. Cards open, the small stack is already out, the opponent holds Q10, turn is a Queen, the prudent player is almost out as the remaining chips amount to some 2BB, bye bye satellite. Cost of the satellite is 0,4 of the target tourney buy-in (buy-in, double re-buy and add-on all worth 1/10 of the original buy-in, right?), all for nothing....

Scenario number two:

The prudent player blinds down, he calls with the nuts, wins, the donk re-buys, the donk wins all the next donkaments, the prudent player loses his stack, his re-buys and after the third loss is disgusted and leaves. Cost: 1/2 of an original buy-in or 1/4 of it, depending on the satellites.

Scenario number three:

The prudent player blinds down, the nuts never come, the prudent player blinds out. Re-buy and so on and so forth...

As I am writing these lines, I'm already out of Event-01 and playing Event-02. Event-01 falls in the previous category too(cheap buy-in and re-buys). Bye bye Event-01. I stopped trying to satellite my way to more events as with  shock and disgust I realised that I had played more than 10 of these, busted out of all, I have spent 2 or 3 bucks (which could be used for a direct buy-in) and had nothing but frustration and disappointment to show for it.

Honestly this was the worst time I ever had since I started playing poker. In free-rolls, usually the donks fight amongst themselves for the first two or three rounds, the master donks accumulate their huge stacks and the rest of the flock  is sent home crying. If you are lucky enough to stay in until after that point, you have a chance as the donks are rich and proud of themselves and they will call anything and share their wealth with you. I mean that this species elliminates it's members as it is in their clueless competitive nature to kick one another out. Worst case, you are out and the tourney forgotten as you can't re-buy either.  In re-buys the donks are sticky. They do not elliminate eachother, they do not go away, they just get richer and less rich. You try again and again (throwing tiny amounts of cash around while you are at it). You can't get rid of them. No way out. This is the road to hell.

[youtube link="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOimUM_sA0Q"]

So, enough of these for me. If I decide to satellite some more, I'll pick the no re-buy, no add-on ones. (By the way, just out of Event-02, no re-buy from me, I called a shove with AQ suited, so did another holding 3s, I crushed the original shover as he had A9o, but the other flopped one of his two remaining threes. See what I mean?)

"Steamboat Willy" was the original name of my estemed colleague Mickey Mouse. Well this was "Steam Blowing Vas". Sorry for the rant if it was tiring, but felt like I had to do it and get some feedback as to how you feel about them.

Good luck at the tables to all!!!