Well today has been yet another in the downward spiral of this all consuming personality of poker. Variance is something that every one of us will go through from time to time, though when you are there, it feels like the whole world is transpiring against you. It took a few harsh words from my partner today to bring it home to how much of an angry and emotionally negative person I had become over the last few days. The bonus I have though is that my girlfriend also plays this complex game and although she hasn't been playing anywhere near as long as me, she has an amazing grasp of it, so much more than I ever had in the beginning.

Today started out quite well, grinding the sit and go's, making the money about 50% of the time then it was just one bad beat that started things off. Sat in the small blind with AKs. I raise to 2.5BB and the BB calls. Flop comes and its K J 7 rainbow. I'm pretty sure I'm good so half pot raise. BB then shoves, oh dedar, have I caught him with KJ, possibly but this guy has been shoving lots during this game so I find a call which leaves me 2BB back. he shows 33. Guess what comes on the river. Again.

Next hand on the next table, I'm on the button and its folded round to me. I have K 10s, so I raise 3x BB. Small blind calls and BB folds, flop comes KQ 7 rainbow. I half pot raise and small blind re raises, I know I'm good so I re raise and small blind shoves. I am taken back, I think about it and know I should fold but I'm slightly tilted from the last hand so I call. Showdown and he has K 4. Wow I think, big double up....... Until the river.... yes you guessed it, the Russian hits a 4. 

I win a few hands then I find myself with cowboys in the cut off so I raise a standard 3x. BB re raises me so I re raise 3/4 pot and he calls. Flop, Q J 6. I half pot raise and BB calls. Turn, 2. I shove and small blind has me just covered calls. Showdown and he shows pocket 4s. How could he call that, well easy really, because he is Russian and he knew that the river was going to be.... yes you guessed it... a 4. Donked again.

It was at this point my girlfriend decided she needed to have words with me. See I don't take bad beats too well, probably the whole of London could of been hearing the expletives that were coming out of my mouth and my girlfriend does not like this kind of behaviour and it is beginning to effect her play at her tables. A quick lesson in positive energy ensued, she is a great believer in energies and positivity and I must admit that when I look at the rest of my life it has been so, so why not poker. So I am now back to accepting the the bad beats and the bad players because at the end of the day, if there were none and everyone played at a high standard, then there would be less money to be earned. I am learning to be thankful and going back to basics.