Motivation, the thing that keeps you pursuing your goals in live. It is a great and wonderful thing to have. But for me it is also what is holding me back in poker.

The first time I played poker I fell in love. I quickly noticed how there is more to the game than playing out your own cards. I started out with NLHE and I have always stuck to it. Why? Because I still haven’t mastered it to a degree that makes me feel like I want to start learning another format. This game is deceptively easy to learn, but very hard to master.

I have known my ups and downs in motivation to play, mainly because of pressure from school or work. Being busy with other things meant my head just wasn’t capable of playing properly so I avoided the game for longs stretches of time. At the end of May I knew I had a few months with fair amounts of spare time coming up, so I started playing and attending PSO classes again.

Last month was a good one for me, I got dealt into a milestone and made a nice bit of profit. I even got Platinum star for the first time in my life. But the last 10 days have been brutal. Losing session after losing session. Today I played for about 20 minutes and 250 hands, but I already know I should just stop playing because I was steaming. I lost 6 BI to people sucking out on the river, getting my AA and KK cracked after getting it in good, and a few other annoying spots.

I can honestly say that my game has improved a lot in the last few weeks,  but right now I am quite frustrated. Although I am lucky enough to exactly know why I am getting frustrated. My problem is that I am too eager to win. I know I can beat the game, but downswings make me tilt. Having a guy hit his miracle on the river and make the better hand sucks. I know this is +EV for me in the long run, but somehow it is just tilting me to no end when this happens time after time in the same session. Especially when paired with your good draws not getting there.

A few days ago there was a PSO class on Tiltlessness. And I certainly know I shouldn’t get tilted, but I guess ambition, motivation and being too eager are no match for common sense.

Hopefully I can construct something more useful to blog about soon, but I just had to get this off my chest . For now I am going to fire up some videogames and clear my head. See you in live training!