Well, it's officially about a year since I've been taking poker seriously; and by that I mean playing almost every day. In the year I've started with nothing and now I kind of have nothing again. So it was quite up then quite down, and now I'm steadily bleeding my bankroll and it's quite demotivating. 

I was watching 2 Months 2 Million today (as discovered by listening to the EPT coverage) and there Dani Stern said that when you lose heaps in a row you become demotivated then you play badly because you're down about everything. Then, Liv Boeree came on to the EPT Live stream and said pretty much the same thing.

So playing poker itself isn't all that motivating to me. I mean, it's literally clicking buttons, and the buttons don't change. If I keep going like this, eventually I'll have nothing left in my account.

Royal Raiser [unwittingly] started a flame war on the forums about setting goals; and I'm pretty much in the "don't want to set goals" camp; so in a way I agree with Arty though not necessarily with his reasons: I don't think poker is that much about luck, but failing on my goals will demoralise me.

However, I do need things to motivate me. I PMed Sandtrap and he suggested I need to figure out what my game is. His suggestion was to play one type of game each month (eg, zoom, turbos, hypers, SNG, MTT), but I'm far too impatient for that I think. It is a great idea though. 

So, in partial agreement with Sandtrap and with Arty, I think my immediate goals are to play 100 of each game and to see what shakes out. 

I'll make a thread on the forums where I keep the progress, and that way I can have a thread where I can post any learnings without having to start a new thread every time. Not sure if it's a challenge per se though as I'm not challenging anyone or competing with anyone else, and there doesn't seem to be an "open forum" section.

All the pros or trainers I watch put in ton of volume. I saw some goal threads on the forums that say the poster would evaluate whether to move up in the stakes after 5,000 hands. Another said they'd played 1,200 tournaments in December. DeWarsaw said he was playing 1,800 hands per hour. I had a look at my stats, and I've played 17,820 hands cash and 1,040 tournaments this whole past year. (the stats may be a bit off because sometimes Poker Office gets confused).

So I really need volume. But when I lose a whole bunch in a row, I just go and watch TV. And if I sit on that couch at about 6 pm, I'm not likely to get off of it until it's bed time; even if there's nothing to watch. The path of least resistance and all that.

So I set myself some targets, but it didn't seem working unless I post it here (attention whoring maybe?). There's also the limitation that my holiday (vacation for Americans) ends 23rd January and then I'm back to work, with maybe 4-5 hours free for poker per night. I won't be able to put in the 12 hours I've been doing this month. 

So, my 'plan':

- still on with the Cowboy Challenge (been 183 games so far, still at level 1)

- 100 x 0.02 hyper 990 people SNG (57 so far) - been studying with PushBot

- 100 x 0.25 standard 90 people SNG (2 so far) - been studying with SNG Wizard

Maybe others? Will add more later I guess. I'll make a thread on the forums if someone suggests where it should go.

My big dream wish is to become Team Pokerstars Online - New Zealand. Silly? That way I could meet Stapes and Hartigan! A girl can dream.