I can't believe how lost I am.  No more online poker, and not that I was a pro or anything.  Really, far from it.  But I really miss it.  I loved playing in the PSO.  Great competition, and good people.  I also miss my 180 man $4.40 SNG's.  Everyone in my house would head off to bed about 9 pm.  Just me, the dog, whatever I wanted on the TV, and Pokerstars on my laptop.  Sometimes I would play a large multi-table tourney, sometimes just the PSO, or the 180.  When I was focused, I would play 3 or 4 180's at a time, and usually go deep in one of them.  Just building up the bankroll, slowly for $4 at a time.  Couldn't beat it.  I have played 3 times since "Black Friday", a $50 tourney vs 153 people, a $70 tourney vs 44 people, and a $25 SNG.  I bricked the first two tourneys, and came in 3rd in the sng, so I am down $85.  Each time I play now, will be for more money, and not that it is a big factor, but it will not be like I can run down to a casino any time I want.  What other alternatives do I have?  Play on Carbon Poker, or Bodog?  They have like a fraction of the tourneys that Pstars has.  It is a joke.  It was great, and I never knew how good I had it.  Yeah, sometimes the beats were pretty bad.  I honestly can't say if it was "loaded up" for action, or what.  Not sure I see the same crazy beats, or worse, crazy stupid calls that were rewarded in ive cards.  Well, definitely not..  I can't say that we see more hands online, and that is why you see these crazy things.  Not sure I can believe it or not, but I could deal.  If I started to run really bad, I could just play the PSO for a while, and build up some points.  I can only hope that we get legalized, regulated Poker in the US soon.  And, I hope Pokerstars is a part of it.  They are head and shoulders above any site I have seen, and I hope it comes back to its full force.  Now , all I can do is play live cards, once or twice a month and that's about it.  I am now in two poker leagues, so I can blog about those I guess, not that anyone will care.......Hope to see you all on the virtual felt soon.