Greetings my fellow tilt monkeys .I thiink i might have this tilt beast uder control finally sparing the odd out break off course i am only human after all ok maybe not human but more spongebob . The reason i say this is i have had a rough week lost 25% of my bank roll ran simply awful way under EV the beats have been so cruel. But its like i get i now it has took a long time to finally get it why i tilt and understanding variance and my own issues with tilt , . 

Been pleased with how i have reacted to it put in some study reviewed hands noted one or two leaks .Realized alls good strange thing is i feel i have been playing really well crazy eh ? data seems to back up i have been on the end of a few sickos but i am keeping focus . All this with a lot of dff deep runs  . Going to keep plugging away and maybe one day i might bink big and have enough to play one of the massive touraments online and around the world . 

Contrast with the beginning of year FT and a bubble for a FT both worth over a $1000 up top had a monster run during this bad period but not to be had so many deep runs  . Switched back to tournaments after doing so well at beginning off year not had the results i was hoping for but my play in tournaments has improved beyond measure .I am changing gears so much better and picking up on spots to gain chips . My tournament play feels good at moment putting in so much more volume . Feeling better overall about my game. .

Tilt no doubt has cost me in the past and even now time to get rid of that monkey . Tournaments are tough but there is an immerse great feeling running deep so i am enjoying the rush . I still want to do well and achieve my goals wihtin poker but i am trying to have more fun with it  and relax and accept sometimes the cards arent kind but if you do all you can do and focus on making the best play you can what more can you do keep doing the good things guys stay positive work hard and we will get there .

Make sure you get the balance in your lives guys i realised that after my diagnosis .I want to be successful and win something big enough to spoil the people i love but has to be achieved with balance  .Thin line between obbession and fun and love i think for me poker is all three . Take care guys and good luck at the tables .laters my fella tilt monkeys .

ps thanks to all the guys who have helped my game beyond measure espically over the last few months .On the right track now .