hey guys still in my downswing not much gone right  since my tournament win over 2 weeks ago i am hurting at moment trying to play through it and study harder to put things right looking through sessions working hard but the variance is killing me i am in the biggest downswing of my poker journey it is not much fun at moment . Poker is tough at times like these i can not believe i have gone from being on top of the world 2 weeks ago and the year has gone so well to being more buyins down . I am beginning to think i wont have a winning sessions ever again !! it is weird how the self doubt hits you . I am starting to rip my game apart looking at every detail . 

I guess poker sometimes can be ****le lol you start to question every thing about how you play to the site being rigged off course it isnt you listen to those rumours but you know there is not a single element  of truth in any of that and you have to stop wasting time with such rubbish and work harder at your game. So push the self doubt to one side and realise you do not suddenly become a bad player over night . So the answer is put all your focus into improving .

So there you have it guys i just wanted to share my highs and lows to give a fairer reflection on my poker journey and not just post blogs full of victorys because poker isnt like that for you to win there has to be a loser and while i am downswinging somebody is upswinging and as much as i am hurting at least somebody at the moment is smiling .

So when the evil varience has finished with me and moved on i will be riding the upswing like a surfer and that ladies and gents could be my next sesson .

Poker really is a love/ hate relationship for many of us i wonder how many players have given up due to varience ? i bet it is more then we think i wonder how many players think of giving up ? destined to be losing players forever how many of us can really accept that to depoist with no hope of ever cashing out the realitly of poker is that there  are more losers then winners and i do not intend to be a losing player and if i cant be a winning player by the end of the year and i bust my BR then playing to lose it all again and again for fun  isnt enough and i may give up for good because how ever much time you invest how good you get and how hard you work that may never be enough and it ceases to be fun anymore maybe that love affair might be over for some of us including me .sometimes i think that day might be here sooner then i think i do put alot into my game and alot of time but what use is that time if we feel that poker gives us more lows then highs ? we should be doing something else more important with that time. 

Make no mistake poker is tough and you do need skill and a little luck as they for me go hand in hand you need to work hard at your game to be successful in the long run so the pros tell us so i will play untill broke and then i will quit sick of feeding other peoples BR i have earned my stripes now to reap my rewards because how i feel right now i could quit thats the love/ hate relationship we all feel cash out be gone or stick around and work to be successful or be happy to depoist again and again not me i am done success or failure . all i know failure for me this year means me quiting as i have spent so much time and energy on this already . I think how come the pros never seem to be happy always so stressed deep down really wanting to quit but knowing nothing else . 

Poker like i say messes with your head in ways other things in life dont . I write my blog with the intention of giving you my inner personnal thoughts i am trying to be honest because this is how the ups and downs in poker make us feel it is not all about the mega bucks poker pros the true heart of the game is us guys at the micros and it is harder down here just remember guys without us there would not be online poker so take heart your part of something special and who ever you are weather i make it this year to where i want to be i wish you guys every success in your poker journey 

Just my thoughts thanks for reading about my highs and lows in poker . comments are always welcome guys take care love and happiness to you all .