My LOVE of poker started around 5 years ago, When after work one night the boss decided to put on a poker night as he was going to leave my home city to move to bigger and better pastures.

I already knew what poker was. I had watched WPT on TV many times, but I alas was too young at only 15years of age to take part in any poker that was being played. Fast forward 3 years and im sitting in room with some of my best mates, having drinks, having a laugh and playing poker. What could be better right? 

A short while later I obtained a job that most people my age could only dream of, I didnt go to University but had a high paying job and I was already living out of home as my whole family had moved interstate. At this point in my life my only goal was to save enough money to buy a house, so i decided it was time to get a second job. My social life faded away, working 80 hour weeks and going to the gym or playing sport in what ever spare time i had left. Before I knew it, 2 years had gone and those nights of playing poker with friends were just a distant memory. 

What happened next will have changed this period of my life forever... One night after indoor cricket, a mate invited me over to watch the football, Australia were playing a friendly and with no work the next day i thought why the hell not. It was 2 hours untill kickoff (3am) we had to find something to fill in the time. He suggested poker. I said "with 2 people? it will be a little boring wont it. This late at night no one will want to come over and play" he replied with. "No, we will play online".

I remember being absolutely blown away, dazzled - the speed, the colours, cards flying around and chips being bet all with the prospect of gaining real money at the end of it all. I realise now it was far too much to take in all at once, but at the time something stuck.

A few weeks later I decided to look into it further, I googled "poker star" and started reading, I remeber now being so nieve thinking "wow someone every sunday wins a million dollars" (of course not knowing the rest that comes with winning a tourney such as the sunday million) which was later realised to be a prize pool and not infact a single prize.  

Online poker suits me perfectly, I love math, I can be a bit of an introvert at times and being an aussie.. well, we all like a bit of a gamble now and then. I have only been playing it for 8months, but i can't really see myself stopping at any time in the near future.

In these 8months i have definitely been a losing player, whether it has been through lack of patience, ability or just going for too much too quickly. I have made a final table at Micro Millions and i have won numerous 180's, 45's, 18's and 9 man SNGS. The FT was definitely a proud moment and if i could have just laddered up a few places, the former would not be true with of course the pay jump between my 8th and 5th was a few thousand dollars. Never the less im proud of myself for getting to that point. 

Like most online players i have dabbled in a bit of everthing, being reasonable at most and not terrible or really good at any. Thus my problem has arisen. All formats of online poker come with there pros and cons, and of course their real money varience. 

I enjoy them all, of course having a taste of big money, MTT's are definitely in the back of my mind as the way to go, along with that i played my first ever NLHE/PLO tourney last week, i got through around 300 people to win it, i realise this isnt a big field but i feel it has added to my thoughts that i could be most successful at these.......And then of course i have a day like today where i play for 2.5 hours in the Big 330, shove 99 for 11 BB's against a MP limp and he calls with Q5o hits 4 cards for a queen high flush. This sort of nonsense happens far too regularly in all aspects of poker i play but grinding out such a period of time it makes it all the more frustrating! The question then rings in your head, will these ever be profitable investing so much time and energy into tourneys where you can run 200th out of 8000 and still only get a few buy ins back? Do i wait for that one big score? Do i sacrifice some play to try and grind out more tables at once? 

I dont have the bankroll to enojy cash as much as i would like, mircostakes cashgames can be very frustrating for me, while we all enjoy versing the recreational players i find it can be very montoneous for far too little profit and sometimes loss. 

It all brings me back to my first love on online poker - STT or MTT SNG's. But there are just too damn many regulars now for these to not be so big in varience especially at the micros. My most profitable tables are actually $15 stt's but of course not having the bankroll again my head is just way too wise in telling me i cant afford a big downswing in theese. 

So where to go from here? I still love poker, i still want to play ever day or every other day, but i dont want to get burnt out, i dont want to lose interest and start playing my B or C game and i dont want to be a losing player. I feel i need to pick one and give it a go for a little while, see where it takes me. The only problem is, im no closer to picking one then i was a week ago when i first realised this dilema.

I would love to hear back from other PSO'ers who have had this problem, or even might just have a solution or help in me reaching a conclusion to this frustration.

Send me a PM, FB me (Mitchell Cook, Newcastle Australia) or my twitter is @mitchcook6.

And if you took the time to read my ramblings i thank you, and i apologise for my horrendous grammer