I'm up and down like a toilet seat!
Ok that might just bring a terrible picture to your mind, but my self confidence and assurance in my game are riding that same rollercoaster.  Up and down - and up and down.

I find myself trying to be more aggressive so I am not pushed around.  I face the big stacks at my table and try to show no fear.  I am aware that they can bust me out, so I choose my hands carefully.
I'm likely still quaking in my booties, but I stand my ground when I have those premium cards.
When I get my money all in and find I have the best hand - (and when I survive the coin flips), I feel good about my game. 

You'd never know it by my PSO ranking.  I don't WANT to give my chips away; I don't want to go out early,  it just happens!

All I can do is ride the waves..hold on tight to my chips if I can.  Invest them in the pot when I think that I should be getting good returns.  I read on another blog that making the right decision doesn't always lead to the outcome you wanted.  Ok, fair enough.  My experiments haven't always worked, and sometimes I lose my nerve rather than my chips.  I forget my plan, or forget to ask myself.. what cards would my opponent be holding right now.   I fold when I should have called and call when I should really have given that idea another thought.

In the end I'm learning.

I'm learning a few of the "finer points" of the game of poker.  Who knew it was so complex?
I am watching you.. my lil brown eyes are looking for the calling stations, the luckboxes, shove monkeys and those so called Donkeys that just won't fold!  I'm avoiding mixing it up with those guys unless I have wonderful cards.  I'm watching to see if you value a pocket pair as much as AK, and trying to figure out for myself if I hang on too long to bottom pair.   I'm trying to figure out if you play aggressively or passively.   Are you playing tight?  Are you playing loose?  And finally - who's the Fish at the table - the one who's going to lose all their chips?  Is it me!?

I'm learning patience isn't boring - why?  - because there's lots for me to do at the table while I am waiting for those decent cards.

It's half way through the month and while I may be down - I'm not out.

Ok, back to the felt!