Oh man, just like a new years resolution my goals are further away now than when i made them! It's like writing them down and making them concrete has made them unattainable!

I invested about 5 times my normal bankroll this week and it has cost me dearly! When i first invested i put down $40. Of the $40, i bought a $27 entry ticket into TCOOP 1 and took the rest onto a .25/.50 limit table.

Buying the TCOOP ticket was a bad idea it was 4am, i had just woken up and hadn't had my coffee yet! QJ suited first hand.....was raised 100 in big blind, i called, flop came QJ4 rainbow was raised 100 pushed all in, opponent shows AQ, A came on river and tourney over! Moral of the story is have a coffee before doing anything!

i blew the remaing $13 on the limit table then put another $30 in the bankroll.  I played at the same table for nearly 2 hours grinding until impatince got the better of me and i blew it again! Now i don't know what i was doing but i put another $40 on and went to play heads up for awhile! I grew a $20 stack to $137. And this is where it gets ugly! I blew it again and this time it has cost me more than money! Its not the cash but considering i usually put 10-20 dollars onto my account every 1-2 weeks that could have kept me in poker for nearly 2 months!

I dont know if its greed, brain farts or some form of autism or o.c.d, but i am continually repeating this sort of cycle... Every now and then i get into a session where i cant seem to lose, my bluffs are working, im hitting almost 2 thirds of the time............................then comes the change. I start to lose and i really struggle to change my style of play. At the beggining of a session my play style is usually tight and aggressive (unless i havent had my coffee yet) as play deepens i will usually get a little more passive and loosen up a bit. The more i seem to win the looser i seem to get until it gets to the point where my style of play is actually begining to make me lose and i  cant seem to get into that tight aggresive mode again. Now i dont know if I should be spending less time in a session or running as soon as ive say doubled my starting stack but right now my aim is to study the bankroll management section VERY VERY HARD!

WOW it feels good to TALK about it, Its the DOING that gets me.......LOL

Well so far every goal ive made has become further away than ever! Every cloud has a silver lining though and this one is its only January!

So Ive decided to begin the journey to reach my goals, startiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing....................... .................................NOW!

Cheers B.p